Go Ask Alice
by Corinne 22
Summary: -Winner for Mad As A Hatter Award-Contest Entry for A Very Sexy Un-Birthday Contest. Is anything what it ever really seems? Is age just a number to taunt you? Or does it mean so much more? Alice doesn't like the idea of turning 30.


**"A Very Sexy Un-Birthday Contest"**

****

Title: Go Ask Alice...

-Birthday_Contest/78947/ Un (dot) net/community/A_Very_Sexy_fanfiction (dot) www://httpTo view other entries for this contest, please visit

Author(s): Corinne 22

Disclaimer: SM owns all Twilight related crap, Pixies own the kick ass song and I own nothing but my obsessions...

**"Your head will collapse**

**But there's nothing in it**

**And you'll ask yourself**

**Where is my mind??**

**Where is my mind??"**

* * *

**Alice POV**

OK, really, you could say I was pretty lucky. Successful, maybe? At least, any outsider looking in would think so. But, right now, I so didn't feel like any of the possible optimistic words that anyone could spout off at me today. All I felt like was crap.

After hours of working on my feet (in six inch heels, by the way), dealing with bratty, skinny socialites and having people bombarding me with questions and demands, I am so ready for home. Being around people who strived for perfection made me feel even less perfect. Sometimes, by the time I got home all I felt was a little crazy and a lot tired.

My shoulders instantly started to loosen as I saw the door to my apartment with Jasper coming closer with each painful step. I opened the door, noticing how dark it was and wondering if he had already gone to bed. I felt slightly saddened at the thought of it cause I just needed him to talk to right now. He always made me feel better some how.

I violently kicked off my shoes and winced as one of them flew across the room and hit the wall. But the loudness of my return home was quickly forgotten as I made my way to the bedroom and my feet were screaming at me in protest. All I wanted to do was lay down and get off my damn feet.

I rounded the corner that led to the hallway to our bedroom and stopped. There was a line of daisy petals and Hershey kisses in the middle of the hallway to our bedroom door, which was slightly ajar, and a soft light flickered through the crack. I bent down to retrieve a piece of the chocolate, unwrapping it and popping it in my mouth before smiling and making my way closer to the door. I should have known better to think that Jasper was asleep...

I opened the door to find candles lit everywhere, more flower petals thrown around the room and the bed and Jasper sprawled out with his arms wide open, sporting a massive hard on.

"Expecting some company?" I joked, while surrendering myself in his embrace, trying to avoid his erection.

"Mmm...," he sighed into my hair. "Only you. You're home late, I was beginning to think I would have to take care of it all by myself."

I quickly lifted my head off of his chest and slapped him hard across the shoulder.

"Just joking, Alice," he laughed out before sitting up and laying me down to start rubbing my feet.

I sighed out, my body melting into the pillows as I closed my eyes.

"Tough day?" he asked while circling his thumbs around the heels of my feet.

"Beyond," I nodded, opening my eyes. "I'm beginning to think that I need a change of careers. I love designing clothes, all the money it offers, but I don't know if I can take another bitchy attitude or all the questions anymore. Every time I turn around there is someone bitching about something or asking me if I can go get them something or if I can fix what I already thought I finished. I'm starting to think that everything I touch I mess up. Something is always too big or too small or not the right color. Maybe I should just try to open my own little shop down the road and sell my clothes there. I think I'm done with runways and models."

"Maybe I can make you forget about it all, just for tonight," he replied, his fingers working their way up my legs and still massaging.

"Yeah, this is all a little trite, don't you think? It doesn't seem like something you would do, you're more creative than this."

His hands paused for a moment and I worried that I had hurt his feelings.

"It's your birthday tomorrow," he said in an almost sad tone before moving his fingers further up my skirt. "I wanted to pamper you and I thought all women liked candles, flowers and chocolate. I got a little something for myself too," he added with a smirk across his lips.

"First of all, don't even remind me of my birthday. Second of all, you know I'm not the typical kind of chick."

"What's so wrong about your birthday tomorrow?"

"Really? You have to ask?" I paused looking at him with eyebrows raised. But his eyes were firmly set on my legs as my skirt kept creeping up closer to my thighs.

"Esme is the first problem. She's way too excited about this and this whole party thing at Dad's house is way too much. I think she's still trying to make it up to me for being the step mom and had invited the whole town. Which leads to another problem that is named Rose. That bitch has had it out for me ever since she started dating my brother seven months ago. I haven't done anything to her to deserve her open hostility. I'm afraid that she's going to ruin the whole thing or make me have to leave my own birthday party. Thank God for Emmett. If it wasn't for him than I probably wouldn't be able to laugh at anything. I swear, he always has this shit eating grin on his face, no matter what. He might be my only hope tomorrow for helping me forget about the stupid party. And last," I sighed out. "I'm turning thirty Jazz...fucking thirty. I'm no longer in my twenty's anymore. That means I'm officially an adult and growing older. I don't like the sound of that at all. I want to stay in my twenty's forever."

"Your body looks like it's still twenty," he joked while spreading his fingers across my thighs and taking a peek under my now completely bunched up skirt.

"What has gotten in to you tonight?" I laughed while pushing his chest back with my foot.

"I told you, I took a little present for myself, too."

"Meaning what?" I asked, slightly worried.

"Well...," he drew out the word while placing his hands back on my legs, inching towards my underwear. "A friend had some kind of sex herbal shit and I took one."

"Why would you do that?" I almost shouted as I sat against the headboard.

"Like I said, it's your birthday. I wanted to make sure I could give you hours of pleasure tonight, even though you have to wake up early."

"You're fucking crazy, Jasper. I'm happy with how we have sex now, so why change it? Besides, I'm rethinking this party thing. I may not go at all. I may be sick," I half joked while coughing.

"Shh...For right now I want to make you forget it all. I want to relax you, please you. We are going to ring in this birthday with you coming so hard that you'll forget all about the word thirty," he purred out while taking off my underwear and kissing the inside of my leg.

"You really have lost it, haven't you?" I laughed. "I don't think I want you taking that shit again until you're seventy, maybe eighty."

My laughter soon died down as I felt his breath against the inside of my legs. Before I could even take in another breath I felt the warmness of his tongue slowly licking his way up to my clit. I had to admit...it was pretty distracting. I inched back down the headboard, opening my legs even wider for him. Who was I to argue?

His worked his tongue in circles, licking and sucking me everywhere he could reach, adding his fingers to places he couldn't. His face was masked by the fabric of my shirt, allowing me to not have to worry about that horrible turned on face that I knew I could sometimes get.

When I could feel myself getting close I pulled on his hair, pulling him up to me and begging him to turn around so I could return the favor.

"Nope," he whispered before giving me a quick kiss on the lips. "I told you this was all about you."

He kissed me again, dragging his tongue across my lips so I could taste myself. Something about knowing that he smelled and tasted liked me was a complete turn on every time.

I forgot all about wanting to fulfill his needs and grabbed him roughly by his hair on the back of his head, deepening the kiss. He moaned as he pressed harder into my chest, causing him to hit against my clit. I took the closeness as an opportunity to tease us both even more. I lifted my hips, grinding him up and down, letting the wetness allow him to slid back and forth. He moaned into my mouth again, causing myself to follow and I had to try so hard not to just line him up just right.

"Not yet, I plan on taking a while with you."

He noticed the look on my face and stopped.

"You're wanting it rough aren't you?"

I nodded, smiling up at him in the best flirty way I could. Every now and then I needed it rough and hard, other times soft and sweet. Now was not one of those sweet times. I was battling issues that even I couldn't figure out. I needed him to need me, I had to have him show me how undesirable I could be.

"Hmm..," he sighed out, nostrils flared and a mischievous look on his face. "Turn around."

I tried to hide the ecstatic smile that threatened to surface as I quickly clamored up and flopped myself around on my stomach.

"Now Alice, you know I can't do you properly when you're all the way down there."

His voice was low and dangerous, igniting my insides with a fire that needed to be ravaged desperately. I grinned against the pillow, knowing just what to do to get him to say what I needed.

"Show me," I said innocently.

His hands roughly grabbed my hips, nails digging in my skin in the the most painful good way. My head suddenly left the pillow as he jerked my ass up in the air. He palmed my legs, rubbing them all the way up to the back of my thighs and lifting my skirt up before slapping my ass.

"Are you sure you want it?" he said before smacking my ass on the other side and placing his dick in between my legs, teasing me more.

I answered by pushing back against him causing his nails to dig into the flesh of my cheek. So I pushed back against him once more.

"Alice, you know the rules. You have to remain still."

I loved the way he good just flip on the bad side and sound so hot when he talked during sex. Have to say, it's one of the reasons why I love him...

I was brought out of my happy little musings as I felt him wrap my skirt around his hand, capturing it in a tight fist. It wouldn't be the first time I've had to remake skirts because of him.

He rocked back on his knees to center himself while pushing my back down with his other hand, leaving just my ass in the air, all on display for him. I braced myself against the headboard, hands flat against the smooth wood as I laid my head against the pillow. He didn't waste any time as he hastily dove into me, causing us both to gasp loudly in the quietness, pausing for a moment as we adjusted to the sudden pain and pleasure.

His fist grew tighter around my skirt as he pulled back, deliberatly withdrawing inch by inch at a slow pace before roughly going back in again. His hips jerked against my ass cheeks as he tried to reign in his need. But he must have figured "screw it" because before I knew it he was grunting as he began moving in and out faster. My cries matched by the sound of hips slapping into my skin and my skirt becoming dangerously close to being torn.

"Play with yourself," he demanded.

I moved my hand down to find my clit, almost coming on contact, and leaned on my other elbow for balance. His hand smacked against my ass again, causing me to have to clench up and try to hold back. I wasn't ready to get off just yet. But, sensing this, his hand smacked the other side even harder. The pain causing me to scream out, making me almost lose it.

He began pumping harder, reaching me in ways that he never had before. My finger unconsciously started rubbing little circles faster.

"Come on me, Alice," he nearly growled, grabbing the back of my hair and pulling just enough to make my head go back.

I whimpered out against the new feeling, his voice and the roughness I craved.

"Do it," he demanded again, pulling a little harder.

My arms burned and protested under the weight but I didn't care. I could feel him hitting inside of me so deep that I couldn't hold off any longer.

He pulled on my hair again, pushing me into one of the hardest orgasms I have had in my whole life. As I continued to pulsate around him I felt him growing harder right before he came, his pulsating almost matching my own as he collapsed on to my back.

I fell in a lump of blissful, sleepy mess as he laid on top of me breathing heavily against my neck. We remained quiet for a few minutes, trying to regain our breath. After remaining quiet for a few moments he slowly pulled out and lifted himself up before laying down next to me. I turned around (OK, basically flopped over) on my back, looking up at him as we tried to control our panting.

He smiled down at me, kissing me on the cheek and brushing the hair off my face.

"OK, round two!" he cried out in the dim light of the candles, briefly looking at me like a little kid.

"Um, Jazz," I started, placing both of my hands gently on the sides of his face. "I'm too tired."

"OK," he said, looking, again, like the little kid, yet this time I took away his candy. "I guess you're right. You can't be late for the party."

I finally took my clothes off as he got off the bed and started blowing out all of the candles.

"Look," he said, pointing at the clock. "It's already midnight."

I looked over and, sure enough, there were the big, red and evil signals of 12:00. It was staring at me, taunting me, depressing signs of time staring at me right in the face.

"Happy Birthday," he whispered in my ear as he climbed back into bed.

I chose silence as my answer cause if I opened my mouth than words I wish to not speak would surface.

He, surprisingly, fell fast asleep and I was left with my dreaded thoughts of tomorrow and what would happen. Suddenly, I swear, I could hear the ticking of the clock and I felt like such a small person in a big world. Even though it was electronic and didn't have a second hand. I threaded my fingers through his hair for comfort, trying to calm my mind.

I fell asleep with the imaginary clock ticking loudly in my ear and Jasper's promanent hard-on pressed firmly against my thigh.

*****

The ground was damp, I could feel it deep within my bones.

I opened my eyes and saw blades of grass about three feet away from me, dew dripping off of the edges, causing them to bounce slightly back up upon losing the little drops. My head hurt and my body ached with the wetness that surrounded me.

_It must be early morning,_ I thought.

I stretched, feeling all of my tiny tendons stretch and crack beneath my skin as I tried to sit up. I took a careful look around and what I saw stunned me. It was like every color was heightened, all of my senses on a high. Pinks, blues and reds. Green the prominent color and overfilling my vision.

I was on a soft dirt path and on both sides of me were gardens. Every flower I've ever seen and some I have not. But they were all huge, seven times bigger than what they should be. They all seemed to breathe in unison, like the wind was making them pulse, but there was no wind blowing around me.

_I'm not in Kansas anymore, _I joked to myself.

I noticed I was wearing a dress. It was all of the colors that seemed to surround me in this massive garden. But somehow the colors all worked and matched. It wasn't something I would normally wear or even make. It hugged my chest tightly, making me look skinny, yet curved. It billowed out and ended at my ankles. I was also wearing clear jelly shoes, like the ones I used to wear when I was a kid, yet these were a weird high heeled version of them.

I pushed myself up to stand and, for reasons unknown. I started to walk down the winding pathway. It took me to the left and than to the right.

I noticed something glowing in the distance and walked towards it, feeling dread starting in the pit of my stomach. I tried to ignore all of my impending, natural worries. As I got closer I realized that it was a small cupcake with a single pink candle standing in the middle of it, lit. I looked at it for a moment, pondering over why such an odd thing would be placed in the middle of a path.

Another one appeared, placed a foot away from the first one. And then another. And another. I continued to follow the cupcakes as they appeared. The bright light of the candles burned brightly, despite the harsh morning sun.

My path ended as I came to a larger cupcake, with a larger lit candle, the size of it coming close to the size of a house. A sign hung loosely on the paper cup.

EAT ME

Suddenly my stomach rumbled and I was starving. I hesitantly placed my hand on the side of it, my hunger growing the closer I became. I took a handful of the cake, feeling how moist and soft it is beneath my fingers. My mouth watered and my stomach screamed at me to hurry up and take a bite. I shoved it into my mouth with no concerns about manners. It was down my throat before I could even begin tasting it. And it tasted like shit. Like dirt, manure and diaper all in one.

My body instantly tried to reject it, my chest and muscles heaving with each desperate attempt of my body to throw it up. As I fell to the ground, clutching over from the pain in my stomach, my body began to tingle and my head felt dizzy. The world began spinning, every vivid color that I previously loved now become my own nightmare. I shut my eyes against the twirling that made me more nauseous, tears threatening to break through.

As quickly as it all came, it went away. I opened my eyes and wiped the sweat from my forehead as I stood back up on shaky legs. But everything was different. Everything was now bigger. I had shrunk down to the size of a small dog.

I started to scream for help, panic now taking over.

A face appeared in front of me, a light wisp of smoke, slowly forming into the shape of a cat's face. The smile came into view before the rest of it. It seemed to take over more than half of it's face. I screamed, stumbling until the flowers were pressed firmly against my back.

"Don't fret, my child," it spoke almost in melody. It's once menacing looking smile now oddly comforting me, reminding me, strangely, of Emmett and how he could calm me just by grining at me from across the room.

"Where's the rest of your body," I spoke up, meaning to sound strong yet my voice trembled loudly.

"What good is a body if you don't have a brain?"

I opened my mouth to ask him to elaborate but all of my thoughts came pouring out instead.

"I don't know where I am, how I got here or what's going on," I cried out, shaking my head in my hands. "Then I ate some cupcake and now I'm smaller. It doesn't make any sense. How can one person all of the sudden shrink?! And somehow my clothes shrunk with me! What is going on here?" I pleaded, looking back up at him.

His face floated closer to me and I found myself leaning towards him for comfort.

"My dear, nothing is what it seems. Always remember that. Look in yourself and you will find all the answers. Never trust your eyes."

Upon speaking he looked above my head and I followed his eyes. The flowers seemed to be moving more now, like they had a life of their own. As I turned around to take a closer look, the top of a rose bent down towards us and I could now notice there was a face interwoven in the center, the petals making up what would be the facial features and the hair. I stood, transfixed and further puzzled. Suddenly the bud of the flower reared back, emanating a shrieking sound that pierced my ears and gnashing it's teeth that were made of thorns. I ran backwards, stumbling over my own feet and passing right through the floating head of the cat.

"What is that?" I screamed while it continued biting at the air, out of reach.

"Stay clear of the roses. The daisies are kind."

"OK, you're not answering my questions and I'm done. I want to go home."

"If help is what you seek than you must call upon me when needed."

"I'm asking you right now for help," I yelled back as the rose kept up it's futile attempts.

"This is something you must figure out on your own. Call on me when non-Alice answers are needed."

His head of a figure began fading, causing my fear to rise even further.

"Wait, you're confusing me even more. What does that even mean? How do you know my name? What is your name?"

"Chesire, sweet Alice. You, of all people, should know that one."

"How could I?" I pressed, grasping at the last tendrils of his form.

"Look inside," he simply stated, only a voice in the air.

The rose wildly bit towards me, catching air again. I started to turn back the way I came, getting ready to run and figuring if that was where it all started than that was where I could end it.

A rabbit flew past me and knocked me down. He suddenly stopped and ran back over, short of breath.

"Come on, Alice! You're late. You must hurry," he panted out, eyes wide as he looked back and forth between me and a silver pocket watch.

"Late? Late for what," I nearly stumbled out, highly and more completely confused.

"For the party! What do you think, silly girl? There's no time to waste." He started hopping up and down in place, obviously antsy. "Hurry, hurry. They've been planning this for months. You must not disappoint," he yelled after me while running further down the path.

I jumped to my feet, steering clear of the the roses and running as fast as I could to catch up.

"Who are _they_?" I yelled after him.

"They! Everyone! All of them!"

The running was making me out of breath so I decided to follow him without anymore questions. Trying to keep up with him was enough work. Just when I thought I was close, I would see his ears bouncing around another corner. As I rounded another corner I realized I could no longer see him and began to panic as I saw a fork in the road. I didn't know which way to go. I was now smaller, flowers were trying to attack me and animals were talking. What if I went down one path to only have it lead to my death?

_What if you're already going to die anyways?_ I thought.

I sat down in the middle of the pathway, exhaustion and emotions finally getting to me. I began crying. I cried for so long that the tears began to pool around me, wetting my dress and flowing a small stream to the flowers.

"Excuse me?" A small, sweet voice echoed out.

I wiped my eyes, looking for the sound of such a childlike innocence.

"Are you lost?" It asked me and I looked up, shielding my eyes from the sun.

It was a small daisy. Well, small if I were normal size. What would probably be considered a small daisy in it's little flower world.

"Yes," I continued crying. "I was following the Rabbit and now I seemed to have lost him."

"That's easy," it exclaimed, straightening it's stem and proudly smiling. "He went that way," it said, raising a single leaf in the direction of the right pathway. "He sure was in hurry. Of course, he's always in a hurry. I don't think he ever stops to smell the flowers," it giggled out at it's own little joke.

I gave a small smile, offering some form of kindness in return, despite my feeling lost.

"Thank you," I said as nicely as I could, trying to dust off any dirt on my dress. But my tears had made it muddy and I only ended up smearing it even further.

"Welcome," it smiled back down on me.

A silence followed that left me feeling awkward so I nodded my head and began running down the path that it offered. I briefly worried that it could have been lieing to me. But, I would have had to choose a path on my own, might as well go on the one the flower told me to.

I ran until I felt like my lungs would burst and by the time I slowed down to a walk I noticed a two story house peeking up just over the hill. It looked like it was run down, a house that, in it's days of being taken care of, would be astounding. The once vibrant blue paint was peeling off and dull, showing a muted grey underneath it. The shudders on two windows were missing slats of wood and one of them was completely missing. The yard was dismal, looking mostly brown with wilted flowers. They didn't hold any of the happy, innocent faces that I saw on the daisies. Vines seemed to take up most of the expansion of the yard, choking anything that strived and struggled to live. Upon closer inspection it seemed to also resemble my childhood home. Yet it held nothing of what I once loved. It was a dark shell of what once stood for love, family and safety.

The Rabbit popped out of what looked like a makeshift doggy door, looked at it's pocket watch and yelled at me.

"Hurry up! Quit dawdling, Alice. You are running late!"

Before I could reply, he hopped back through the door mumbling nothings as it swung behind him. I didn't know if the house was in reality only a few yards away or it just seemed that way because of my small stature. Either way, exhaustion was setting in and I desperately needed to sit down and rest. I was hoping that, even though he was rushing me, I would be allowed to ease my aching feet.

I reached the door frame, feeling slightly intimated and scared at the unknown of what was on the other side. I pushed hard on the swinging door and tried to hold it open while I squeezed through. But the raised bottom and the unability to hop like the rabbit made me clumsy and I feel as I got half way through. I scraped my right arm as I fell and rolled into the house, knocking my head on something hard that gave a hollow thudding sound inside of my head.

I sat up, rubbing the spot that was already growing a knot and looked for the offending object. It was a small bottle, held closed with a cork on top, bubbles constantly fizzing within the amber colored liquid. Condensation slowly dripped down the curves of it, making my mouth seem more of a desert than it previously felt while trecking the whole way up the dirt pathway. A small note was also hanging from it, just like the cupcake.

DRINK ME

Now, my previous experience made me nauseous and I didn't see the point of why I was even shrunk. In fact none of any of this made any sense. But I did know that I was thirsty and decided to risk it anyways. With a small shrug of my shoulders I tried to pry the cork. After many nerve racking moments I finally succeeded and I fell back with the force I had to use, spilling a couple of drops on my dress.

I timidly smelled of it, afraid that it would taste as bad as the cake, or even worse. It smelled like ginger ale, the bubbles springing over the top, up to my nose and tickling it. I shook my head and rubbed my nose before pinching it closed with my fingers in case it had an awful taste. I took a sip, waiting for something to happen. Nothing ever did so I tilted it up and gulped it greedily, never pausing for air. I set down the now empty bottle, rubbing my stomach with satisfaction, and leaned against the wall to relax, taking off my shoes.

Suddenly I started hiccuping, letting out small burps in between each hiccup. My head felt the familiar sense of dizziness and I instantly regretted giving in to the unknown and being reckless. I looked down at my bare feet and they unexpectedly blew up like two huge balloons. I screamed, trying to stand up but unable to with my continuously growing feet, the toes poking out and expanding. I expected a little popping sound to follow with them as they grew one by one.

The Rabbit returned and stood before me with his eyes wide and looking like he was about as freaked out as I was.

"How much did you drink?" he screamed out as my hands started expanding like my toes and feet. He looked at the bottle that my now growing legs tipped over and he gasped loudly. "No! You were only supposed to take a sip!"

"I was thirsty!" I yelled back for lack of better words.

The room started closing in on me, reminding me of the panic attacks I had to, daily, try to fight off at work.

"You're going to be too big, Alice!" He began pacing the floor, hopping over my legs as I continued to grow. "All of you humans are so selfish and overindulgent. Is it too much to ask for moderation?"

He kept up his rant but I stopped listening as the roof became closer and my cheek was now pressing against the dingy chandelier. I squeezed my eyes shut, waiting for the moment I would burst through the walls. But as quickly as it started, it stopped. I felt the Rabbit hopping up my body and I peered at him through one eye as the other was bearing down against the wall.

"Well I hope you feel proud of yourself and your foolishness," he smugly stated, crossing his arms as best as a rabbit could do.

"Not quite," I responded trying to shake him lose.

He hopped off of my chest and looked through the awning of the hallway, rolling his eyes and shrugging at someone I couldn't see yet.

"Don't blame this on me," the Rabbit said, turning his back to jump off in the other direction. "If I knew she was going to have such childlike behaviours than I never would have brought her here. She's hopeless. A lost cause."

I watched as he hopped away, leaving me no chance to retort back. I saw something move to my right and I tried to look the best as I could, but my head being stuck between the wall and roof left me with only my eyes to move around. The person slowly walked around me, tisking under his breath, coming to stop between my legs so I could see him.

He was wearing a purple suit with black pin stripes. On his head he had what looked like a top hat mixed with one of those 70's pimp hats. It was the same shade of purple as his suit and stood over a foot tall. He wore a black jacket over the suit jacket. He also didn't wear any shoes. He was wiggling his toes as he surveyed me, showing the film of black that was on the bottom of them.

"A fine mess you made of my lovely home, Alice."

"Who are you?" I replied, ignoring his rudeness. "How do all of you know who I am?"

"Who really knows anyone? Do you even know yourself?"

I was fed up and tired of nobody answering my questions, only choosing riddles or answering my questions with questions.

"Why won't you answer me?"

Instead of replying he walked back down the hallway and I could feel the tears surfacing again. I just wanted to go home and have all of this craziness end. How could I make it possibly end? It was all too much and too fast and too confusing.

He returned a minute later, holding one of the smaller versions of the cupcakes that I saw before.

"Eat this," he demanded with a stern look. "This time don't be such a pig about it."

I shimmied my shoulder lose and stretched out my fingers for him to give it to me.

"How much do I eat? I'm not used to this size. I don't know how much is too much."

"Obviously, even at a smaller size, you still don't know when to stop," he mumbled before answering. "Just a small bite, the tiniest bite that your now big mouth can manage."

I tried not to be offended as I pinched a small portion off between my teeth, cringing at the awful taste that I knew was coming. I waited...and waited...

"Should I eat more?" I asked, becoming scared that maybe I would always be stuck this size.

"No!" he roared out. "Give it to me before you manage to mess this one up, too."

I dropped the cake to the floor as the dizziness set in again. I closed my eyes against the swirling of the room and didn't open them back up until it felt like it had all stopped.

When I was back to my original, normal size I peered at the man in front of me.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"Mad Hatter," he replied, sticking his hand out in front of him.

I shook it as he took a step closer. With the light trying to come through the dirt covered windows I realized he looked familiar. After we shook hands he turned around to take a seat in an oversized, dingy chair and that's when it hit me. He had the same haircut as mine. Short, stopping right below his ears and spiking out at the edges, under the brim of his oversized hat.

He sat down, motioning for me to sit down in the adjacent chair. I forgot about the flim of dust and grime that covered every surface, also sitting down and trying to gauge every feature of his face.

He had the same small and straight nose. He had the same cheekbones. He had the same shape of eyes and shared the same eye color as me, down to the little specks of gold flitting through them. And, when he smiled at me, he even had the same crinkle of skin at the corners of his mouth and eyes. I was speechless and even more confused. I was officially concerned about my sanity and my well being.

"You've given the Rabbit quite a hard time, you know?" he spoke around his eerily identical smile as he sat back and crossed his legs.

His movement made me notice his dirty feet again, my eyes roaming up his frame to his top hat. It was one of the same outfits that I had made when I was about nine years of age. It had the same color pattern and the identical poor quality of stitching. It was one of my first attempts at making clothes and the age and unqualified details clearly showed. Yet the colors stood out and seemed vibrant against the backdrop of the pale, run down colors of the house.

"You like it?" he asked proudly as he grabbed the collars of his shin length jacket, stretching it to show it off.

"I did once," I mumbled while putting my shoes back on.

He squinted his eyes at me, now studying me like I did him.

"Do you even know the real you?"

I didn't know what to say, I was so taken aback, instead I only really thought about it. Did I? Here I was sitting in front of a man that oddly looked like myself. I knew what I looked like, obviously, but did I know the true me anymore? I was too busy rushing around and following other peoples demands that I never gave time to myself.

"Ah," he spoke up against my silence, like he was reading my thoughts. "Always treasure the time spent alone. It's the most precious time that you could ever receive."

Something about this man seemed off and I suddenly felt uncomfortable with his knowledge about myself.

"Why do they call you the Mad Hatter?" I blurted out.

"Because I am," he grinned widely.

"You are what?"

"Mad," he replied grinning impossibly more as he sat comfortably in his chair without a care.

"Who says?"

"Why, I do. We are all a little Mad in our own way. Just some more than others. You," he paused to lean forward, resting on his knees to point at me. "You are a little tricky though."

"Why is that?" I asked, amusing myself and him.

"Well, you are, aren't you? Turning thirty and coming to a place that only children visit. Somebody who is of your age should already know things that this place can teach you. Instead of being calm and confident about yourself, you're here. Instead of standing up for yourself at your job or to your family, you're here. You give everybody a hard time by not being the true you. And, worse yet, you're changing yourself around to fit everybody else's needs. You're not listening to yourself and what you truly need. You're a push over, Alice. You haven't let anyone in there to know the real you, let alone yourself."

I quickly stood back up on me feet, trying to tower over him in defiance.

"Who are you to throw words around like you know me," I shrieked out. "You're Mad, you said so yourself."

"Sure, I'm Mad. But at least I know where I am. You, on the other hand, had to be guided by the Rabbit and the Chesire. I know clearly where I am and who I am. I don't deny that I'm Mad, either."

I breathed in deeply, ready for another rant and more yelling, but was interrupted by the Rabbit as he came bursting into the room, calling out our names.

"She's coming!" he screamed out frantically. "Everyone hide, she's coming!"

"Who?" I asked, slightly miffed that I was interrupted.

"The Queen! The Queen! She will surely try to chop off your head!"

I couldn't help but laugh at his antics. Chop off my head? This was all just completely too much now.

"And you say I'm Mad?" the Hatter whispered into my ear before walking to the door.

"What are you doing?" cried the Rabbit as he cowered under the chair, shaking and cover his head with his ears. "Run and Hide! Don't go to the door and open it."

The Hatter calmly turned around, staring me straight in the eyes and I briefly felt what it would be like to know how people who loved me looked at me.

"Alice has something she needs to take care of," he stated, turning the doorknob, squaring his shoulders and walking out into the sun.

I followed without thought, confidently walking out. Two things made me stop in mid-step.

First, there was a table placed out on the walkway that wasn't there when I arrived. It was long, almost ten feet in length. Placed at one end was a three tier cake with the oversized numbers three and zero standing firmly on top. The table had decorations strewn across the top of it, party hats at every placing. Elaborate and tall chairs were placed around it, each one different than the other. A different animal was seated in all of the chairs, except three. Squirrels, birds, a dog, fox, a toad, a mouse and the Chesire. Each one had almost human like faces and smiling at me as I stood in place, staring. The Hatter took a seat at the farthest head of the table, motioning me to take a seat at the opposite end and head of the table. But the second sight made me remain motionless.

Right as they all screamed "Happy Birthday" in unison, with applause, I noticed a small army of about twenty mounting the hill. They all looked like models. Their faces were masked in perfect shades of makeup, their dresses long and flowing, like their dresses had a life of their own. They were marching in unison, evil smiles hidden underneath their perfections. Bouncing in the midst of their parading was the top of a golden, elaborate crown. I couldn't make out who it belonged to because they had her under a tight guard, not letting anything have the chance to penetrate through.

"Hide!" the daisies around me yelled as their leaves and petals quivered.

"The roses behind them only laughed menacingly, coming close to drowning out the cries of help from the daisies. The heads of their buds were pointed at the sky as they continued howling, their thorns on display, sharp and menacing in the bright light.

I looked back at the table and everything started to turn grey. The clouds began a heavy cover, blocking out the sun. The once colorful display on the table now becoming pale shades of blues, pinks and greens. The animals and the Chesire looked to the hill and back to me, their faces falling and fear setting place in their eyes. Yet, the whole time, the Hatter grinned at me, opening his arms wide as if to tell me it was my time to prove myself.

I continued to stand my ground, trying to mask my own fear and give off the look of sureness. As they came closer I could hear the stomping of their high hells digging into the ground. It sounded like a herd of elephants, quaking the ground slightly with each step. They rounded the table, ignoring the scattering of small animals seeking shelter against their vengeance. They kept their pace until they were right in front of me and I tried not to join the others and run.

With a deafening final stomp they stopped before me, pausing before parting on each side to reveal the Queen. What I saw next made me loudly gasp.

It was Rose. At least, it looked like her. Her blonde hair was flowing wildly, despite the fact there was no breeze. Her breasts were practically pushed up to her chin from her corset. Her dress was a vibrant red, flowing five feet behind her and dragging on the pathway. Yet not a speck of dirt or dust covered it. She looked perfect and stunning, like every girl had, at least once, wished to be. Her lips, eyelids and long fingernails were painted the same shade of red as her dress. But it didn't make her look worse, only aided to showing off her beauty.

She sneered at me, looking me from head to toe. I felt violated just by her eyes, a nothing. She took one step closer to me and seemed to tower over me. I wished for the bottle that I drank before so I could be bigger. I wished for sudden confidence that I had never possessed. But instead, I had to be greedy and use it all, to only screw myself in the end and I hated myself more for it. I practically coward in her presence, wishing I had never been here. However it was that I had turned up here in the first place. I wanted my smiles and wishes of happy birthdays back. I wanted color.

"Off with her head!" she condemed, pointing her hand in my direction.

I started to back up to the house, frightened, cornered and finding no way out. I glanced over at the Hatter as he continued sitting at the head of the table, arms folded across his chest. I pleaded with my eyes, asking for his help. He simply shrugged his shoulders at me and leaned back in his chair further to cross his feet on the table as he looked on.

Her disciples of perfection surrounded me, two on each side. They grabbed my arms and I fought against their strong force, causing their fingernails to dig through my dress and tear holes. I felt the sharpness of their nails dig into my flesh and small lines of blood trickled out of the tears, soaking my dress sleeves.

"On the table!" the Queen shouted and I was dragged over to it.

I kicked and screamed, trying to dig my shoes in the dirt to stop them. I could hear the daisies weeping for me, crying tears that I was too scared to shed. Suddenly, four more women came up and grabbed my legs. They swiftly carried me over to the table, laying me down on my back. My head was placed in between the cake and the Hatter's feet.

"Why aren't you helping? Stop them," I pleaded to him while thrashing out against the hands that were all over my body, keeping me on place.

He dropped his feet to the ground and hovered over my face.

"You are here to learn, my child. Now grow up and do what you must."

I stared at him in disbelief, bewildered by his coldness. How could someone just sit back and watch as someone else was being attacked?

He leaned back again in his chair and looked up as the Queen's face replaced his. She looked at me in a mixture of wonder and disgust before placing her hand on my cheek. The point of her thumbnail traced lines around my eye, down my nose and around my lips before she stopped it in the middle of my lips like shushing me.

"What are you going to do, Alice?" she cooed out in a sickeningly sweet voice.

I tried to reply something, anything, but her thumb was placed so hard against my lips that I could feel her nail starting to dig into my top lip. I whimpered out against the pain, not even trying to fight anymore against the hands holding me down. She laughed out at my obvious signs of pain before standing up straight.

"Turn her around," she demanded, her sweet voice replaced by the sound of pure evil.

Their hands groped me and threw me on my stomach, causing my nose to smash on the tabletop. I took another pleading look at the Hatter. He looked thoroughly bored, like he had better things to do, and shook his head at me with disappointment.

I could hear the shuffle of the Queen's dress on the other side of me and I turned my head. She was standing at the cake, looking down at it with amusement. She placed her fingers slowly across the handle of a knife that was sticking out of the top of it, placed in between both of the numbers. A blade that was never there before but appeared suddenly like everything else. She pulled it out, inch by painfully deliberate inch. The seven inch thick blade was covered in red velvet cake, crumbs dripping off of it and falling on the table. She reached up with her other hand and swiped a perfectly manicured finger through it before sticking it in her mouth and tasting the icing.

"Mmm...," she breathed out, briefly closing her eyes before wiping the knife on the table cloth.

"This may hurt a little," she whispered in her sweet voice against my ear.

"Get her ready," she demanded, looking somewhere over me at the other side of the table.

I felt cold hands grab my forehead and cheek as they straightened my neck and head, lifting it up slightly to place it on one of the plates. I looked to my left the best I could to watch the Queen as looked over my body, making sure it was to her liking.

She took a firm hold of the knife handle with both hands, smiling down at me. Just as her arms started to come down I closed my eyes.

*****

I woke up, drenched in sweat and not able to find my breath. I instantly sat up straight in my bed and I could still fell the sharpness of the blade piercing my skin. I frantically palmed my neck and brought my hand back around to inspect it for blood. I was surprised to find that there was none. But the sharp feeling continued and I kept rubbing vigorously to make the feeling go away.

I looked over at Jasper to find him still sleeping. Only now he was curled up against the pillow from me pushing him off and sitting up. I glanced over at the clock and it flashed 12:01, the red now reminding me of the Queen.

I swung my legs over the edge of the bed, wincing at the pain in my neck that was still prominent. I wondered if it was all truly a dream. A dream was supposed to fully end when you woke up. The pain of a nightmare wasn't supposed to linger.

I stumbled past the bedroom door and down the hallway to the bathroom to look at my neck in the mirror. I turned on the light, wincing at the sudden brightness. Even though I was still naked, my body felt hot from the adrenalin. I grabbed my compact mirror and turned around to inspect my neck, the burning somehow still feeling intense.

But I saw nothing. No blood, no cuts. Not even the beginning signs of a blade being held against me. Just the ivory of my skin becoming blurry through my tears.

"It doesn't make sense," I whispered out as I turned back around.

I turned on the water and splashed my face, the coldness shocking my skin and stopping the tears. I blindly reached over for the hand towel rack and grabbed the wash cloth.

"Happy Birthday, child," I heard, a dark whisper that seemed to resonate off the walls yet so soft I almost didn't hear it at all.

I hurriedly blotted my eyes and opened them only to find my own reflection staring back at me, dripping wet and grinning madly.

*****

**I wanted to throw a little humor in there before the fucked up world of her mind took over. Hope it didn't seem all odd. lol**

**Hope you all got I made certain people the characters in this story. Jasper, Emett, Rose and herself. Also, the daisies cause of what Jasper used, the roses being evil cause of "Rose", the sizes, the sex position and death postition, the fingernails during both, the wetness and so freaking many more. lol**

**And, I firmly believe that Alice was always crazy before she became a vampire. :)**

**Thank you all for reading, please let me know what you thought. Good or bad. **

**And go vote for your fav story crazy people!!**


End file.
